


Meaning/Feeling

by Coffee_Flavored_Kisses



Series: Tumblr Drabbles and Prompts [1]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Drabble, M/M, cute boys falling in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 02:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20846261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffee_Flavored_Kisses/pseuds/Coffee_Flavored_Kisses
Summary: I was supposed to do a bio test but I did this instead.





	Meaning/Feeling

Patrick knew what love was, but he didn’t know what it felt like. 

Or - sure, he knew what love felt like, but not the kind of love he craved. Not the wake-you-up-with-a-kiss, give-you-secret-nicknames, fall-asleep-with-my-head-in-your-lap love. His parents had it. That much he knew. And he thought he’d have it one day because, well, why not? After all, he was smart enough, good-looking enough, capable enough. He’d find someone sometime who’d have all that and more, show him all of that and more, be all of that and more.

He thought he found it, once, when she cried in his arms after losing her grandma. He certainly loved that she confided in him, that she loved him, trusted him enough to cry good and hard, shaking against his body while he stroked her hair. _These are the moments that make love what it is_, he thought, and rightly so. But then it was the next day, the next day, the next. She wasn’t crying anymore, and he didn’t feel the need to be close to her. He wanted to need to be close to her, to someone. That’s the kind of love he wanted to feel.

She was good for him for a little while, until she wasn’t. She didn’t do anything wrong, but he knew he was dragging her through a charade and she would probably never forgive him when the truth - whatever it was - came out some years down the road. He had to let her go, and he did, and he hated himself a little. But he needed to feel that love his mom and dad had for each other. That love like in the movies. Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. Doris Day and Rock Hudson. Montgomery Clift and Liz Taylor. 

When he met David, he wondered what it was that he felt the moment they shook hands. Surely it couldn’t be love. He’d only just met the man. But as their friendship grew, he knew that’s where it was headed. Whenever he watched David’s nervous, shaking hands labeling containers, he wanted to put his own hands on David’s and steady them. Whenever he saw David biting his nails worrying about cost, he wanted to kiss those perfectly-manicured fingertips and assure him everything would be alright. Whenever David checked his phone and smiled, Patrick wanted to be the message David was looking at, smiling at. He wanted David to want him, to need him, to come to him when he needed anything, any little thing at all. 

Patrick knew he’d gotten his wish when David kissed him and those feelings flooded, spilled over that night alone in his bed when he cried tears of joy that finally, _finally_ everything made sense. A secret even he hadn’t known for certain was revealed against his lips that night, and he knew now that this was that love he’d known for so long. He would tell David someday, he knew. He would marry that man. 

Holding David in his arms some months down the road, telling David he loved him, David smiled back. It seemed that once they’d said it, they couldn’t stop. David was a little apprehensive, it seemed. He had held back a bit before he said it out loud. But this wasn’t because he didn’t love Patrick. He knew he did. It was because he worried that saying it out loud would mean putting those feelings in words, in a box, and he had too many feelings to contain them anywhere and in any way. He felt what he felt and he knew it was love, but he could never, not in a million years, explain it. 

David didn’t know what love was, but he knew what it felt like.

**Author's Note:**

> Trivia time!  
What did Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, and Monty Clift all have in common?
> 
> tumblr: nbc-trialanderror


End file.
